Bring Back The You That You Fell In Love With❤

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This Quarantine, 2020...What a Fucking Year!
It has made people really really see themselves, see others.. And sometimes it's scary because you see, reality is... Sometimes we don't like the person we've become. For whatever reason.
Weight Gain, Age, Illness, Being Unhappy, Being in an unhealthy relationship.
Whatever those reasons are for you, take this time to really look at yourself and say : Self, Is This Who I Am Meant To Be????? Fuck NO! This isn't who you are, this isn't what you were brought in this world to do! you should always feel free.. Free to express yourself, Free to love who you want, Free to be happy with no one questioning you or doubting your existence.
Many times, we get so caught up in everyone else, in things that seem priority at the time. But...Forget to really put the biggest most important priority first... YOU.. You need to fully love yourself, believe in yourself, in order to be good for everyone else. If YOU are not truly happy with yourself, than you are living a lie... And how long are you going to keep falsifying  your feelings,your thoughts, your individuality? FACT ABOUT ME: I used to go to the beach alone in any weather and take my journal and cry,scream, speak to Yemaya(Mother of the Ocean) and the strong waves,the smell of the salty air, the cold.. it would be so calming to me. Therapeutic.. you see, i don't believe in speaking to a therapist because I don't like to speak to strangers about what I've been through.plus they are hella expensive! you see I have an addictive trait,sadly it runs in my family.
DISCLAIMER: I AM NOT SAYING THERAPY ISN'T GOOD. YOU SHOULD SEEK THERAPY IF YOU NEED IT. I PERSONALLY HAVE CHOSEN ANOTHER FORM OF THERAPY
And I did start that trait. I started drinking, I luckily am one of those people that can take accountability and stop myself from crashing into a brick wall,  so instead, I swerve. So i started to work out. 7 days a week for 2 hours a day until nothing but sweat and pain were in my veins, and that was another addiction that i didn't know about until i saw my doctor. You see, I used to be.. vibrant, and my smile and laugh were contagious my vibe was POPPIN! And all those around me felt that. I loved that person.. so what happened? life happened. you start to focus on your home,marriage,kids, work, bills,and start to worry about things you can't control like your parents living in Puerto Rico and all these things happening and how you can't just get in a car and drive to see them or pick them up... it's a lot.. I feel like I have failed in my marriage,my kids,but most of all...MYSELF.. and that's a hard pill to swallow but even harder to accept. I have always tried to be accountable for my shit.. and this one?? wow..this shit right here?? definitely is the hardest. but.. i got this.. and i will go back to being the person that i fell in love with and i hope as you read this, that you can do the same for yourself. if that means taking 15 minutes a day for yourself to do what you love the most..whatever that may be. because at the end of the day.. the most important person is you...
I love my tribe of people in my life and this quarantine has made me closer to them. it's made me realize that I shouldn't be afraid, that I am still THAT BITCH... and they believe in me.. And
I need to believe in me too...
Stay Blessed..
If you want to share your story, please feel free to email me at Goddess1971.gc@gmail.com..

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