Mind Blurbs

 PERFECTLY IMPERFECT LIKE- WHEN THE WEATHER IS HOT & HUMID BUT...STORMS START BREWING AND YOU JUST WISH FOR DOWN POURS TO STAND UNDER LIKE- WHEN YOU WORK SO HARD FOR THAT BODY YOU SEE ON TV BUT REALIZE..THIS IS WHO THE FUCK I AM.. I AM THE BEST VERSION OF ME I CAN BE LIKE- WHEN YOU SEE PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE START TO FADE AWAY AND THINK TO YOURSELF.. SELF? COULD I HAVE DONE THINGS DIFFERENTLY? NOOOO.. BCAUSE IT'S A PART OF LIFE AND THIS IS HOW IT'S MEANT TO BE! LIKE- WHEN YOU ARE TRYING TO MAKE EVERYONE AROUND YOU HAPPY BUT FORGET..THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON.. IS.. YOU... WITHOUT SELF HAPPINESS THERES NO GOING FORWARD LIKE- WHEN WE LOVE SO DEEPLY AND COMPROMISE WHO  ARE TO PLEASE THAT OTHER PERSON TO LOVE WITH NO RESTRAINT ONLY TO GET YOUR HEART TORN AGAIN.SO YOU SAY YOU'LL NEVER DO IT AGAIN BUT.. ALWAYS DO..BECAUSE..YOU ARE A HOPELESS ROMANTIC YOU SEE THESE ARE LITTLE OR BIG- IMPERFECTIONS THAT PEOPLE BEAT THEMSELVES UP OVER.. WE NEED TO LEARN TO ACCEPT EACH OTHER AS WE AR...

  Is there much more to say than this? I mean we all know that self love is your first love...right???? or were we conditioned into thinking that you can't possibly love yourself unles someone else shows you the true meaning of love. but... what is the true meaning of love? is it, staying in a situation of any kind, to make others happy and they might show you love? is it, allowing yourself to be disrespected because you think that you don't deserve more? is it, staying at a job because it's convenient or the pay is good but... you wake up miserable every morning and cry in the parkint lot. all before 8am... whew... that's a game changer for sure.  SELF LOVE IS YOUR 1ST AND LAST TRUE LOVE..YOU ARE YOUR OWN SOULMATE, YOU ARE THE REASON YOU WAKE UP HAPPY EVERY DAY, YOU ARE THE REASON YOU SMILE EVERY MORNING AND GO TO BED GRATEFUL. YOU..ARE THE REASON... yes having a person or persons in your life adds to happiness and adds that extra glow..amongst other things.. BUT.. ano...

Don't let FEAR consume you! Fear is everywhere-Fear is the biggest MIND FUCK of all time. Fear is embedded in you when you are young enough to NOT know what fear is. IT'S: Don't talk to strangers- which leads to being an INTROVERT and not trusting anyone. ITS: Don't run to fast or you'll hurt yourself- which leads to walking with your head down instead of up and straight because, you don't want to slip or walk to fast or even run for fear of getting hurt.  IT'S: Don't swim to far or you'll drown-which leads to either wanting to defy your parent and really going out there or being so fearful that you will never want to learn how to swim or go on a boat IT'S: Don't have sex before marriage or you will go to hell-which leads to not being able to explore your sexuality and know what you want and how you want it and with who. Just because that person was you first doesn't mean they have to be your last. and don't get me wrong, i'm not ...

#AhmaudArbery #TrayvonMartin I can go on and on. And that is one of the saddest parts. Well, one of many sad parts. I have a soon to be  18 year old. A Black/Brown 18year old to be exact. Why should that matter you may say? Because, in this ridiculously ignorant world we are living in, it is  important..Not only are we dealing with  this pandemic but, to deal with such open racism is even more frightening. And yes, I know that there has been racism for many many years. Trust me I know. But it's a different hit to the heart when you have a child. Racism? Sexism? and add a sprinkle of Lesbianism ( is that even a word?) to that mix? Yes, I have dealt with all of these things almost my whole life. But, this is MY child, YOUR child, OUR child.... It matters more, it needs to stop, it needs to change.. And that change can't come without our voices. Since when is it not OK to take a jog,run,walk anywhere without having to look behind you? Is it not enough that when WE go to...

This Quarantine, 2020...What a Fucking Year! It has made people really really see themselves, see others.. And sometimes it's scary because you see, reality is... Sometimes we don't like the person we've become. For whatever reason. Weight Gain, Age, Illness, Being Unhappy, Being in an unhealthy relationship. Whatever those reasons are for you, take this time to really look at yourself and say : Self, Is This Who I Am Meant To Be????? Fuck NO! This isn't who you are, this isn't what you were brought in this world to do! you should always feel free.. Free to express yourself, Free to love who you want, Free to be happy with no one questioning you or doubting your existence. Many times, we get so caught up in everyone else, in things that seem priority at the time. But...Forget to really put the biggest most important priority first... YOU.. You need to fully love yourself, believe in yourself, in order to be good for everyone else. If YOU are not truly happy with...

We all strive to be accepted for something. It's like that shit was drilled in us as children, you know, make sure you smile, stand up straight, don't speak to loud or don't sound uneducated. etc etc. but.. Is this really what life is all about??? Acceptance? I mean what happened to accepting one another for themselves, for being a good hearted person, a person that can make you laugh when you need it or an ear or shoulder .Humans treating each other like equals no matter the social, financial status. It's crazy how I grew up around so much racism, sexism, hate, and that was way before it was so blatantly bad as it is now! Imagine. Living in a world where you feel like you need to fit in or else feel left out. I really don't care for that. I am happy with how my life has turned out. and I can't wait for the many more adventures this world has to offer. Have I made mistakes in my past? hell yea, Have I done things that I regret? Absofuckinlutely! But with all ...

The saying goes " We are all here for a purpose" But the question is, what is your purpose? what are you passionate about? I must suffer from some type of ADD because my mind is always on the go. I go to sleep with my head full of thoughts and i wake up the same way. i want to help in so many ways, but how, where, when? you see, i grew up in a 2 parent home where only one parent was the most loving. i grew up in abuse from my family whether it was emotional,physical,sexual. BUT not from my parents. Growing up thinking that it was normal although it didn't feel "normal" that you were touched,kissed etc. from people you considered family. that was a tough pill to swallow.  getting away from that to only get back into it as a young adult. allowing that person to chatter your dreams of becoming someone important, hearing the i'm sorry's and seeing those crocodile tears only to repeat the same cycle.  growing up always knowing i felt different  but not bei...

Conversations with people about this subject are always different. What does being Content mean to you? does it mean that you are still,stagnant,stuck, but still smile? does it mean you are settling? or does it mean you are happy with what you have in your life at the moment? so many times we say we are content about our lives, relationships, jobs and start to wonder: is there more? of course their is! there is always more , more adventures,more laughs, more,more more! Life is to short NOT to always think of the future. or is it? why can't we as a society just take it one day at a time? sometimes I think these teens have a point.. but wait.. not giving them to much credit either, sometimes they are waaaaay to lax about life! (we all have that one teen) so i guess my rant is this: WHAT EXACTLY IS BEING CONTENT MEAN TO YOU? I, being the high energy,competitive person I am, always want more.. more happiness, laughs,memories etc. because at the end of the day , when you look back at...

So let's face it. Some of us crave to have important people in our lives because well, It makes life sweeter and easier to deal with...RIGHT? As for me, I'm an extrovert which means I LOOOOOVE that People,Places,Things vibe. I love having my friends and family come over, I love to create memories with people. There's just something about being with the right people in your life that take out the best in me. NOW, don't get it twisted, I have had experiences where I thought the person was "THAT" friend and it turns out, well they weren't. And that's OK too! Life Lessons are what make you stronger and more aware of what and who you need and don't need in your life. So when and if you ever get that chance to meet some pretty fucking amazing people, and you each bring out the best in each other? Cherish That Shit! That type of friendship is like a Unicorn, Unique.. So you might say while reading this, OK Brenda where the fuck does the gut instinc...